I'm Still Here
by Classy Cutie
Summary: Locked up in Azkaban for 13 years, the only thing Sirius Black has left is memories of her. He has to escape and kill Peter Pettigrew, avenge her death, and save his godson, Harry. Set during POA. One-shot.


The tree. That one tree, by the lake.

Will anyone ever know what it meant to him?

That one tree, where almost every memory was made.

Every memory that played behind his closed, tired eyes in Azkaban.

He should be going crazy, but the dementors couldn't touch him.

Pete was to blame, and he was free. Free from the heavy burden of guilt.

Guilt for his best friend, guilt for his beautiful wife. Guilt for his godson that he might never know. Guilt for those 13 unnamed Muggles on the street whose stories won't ever be told. They were all victims in the war which they will never know happend. No muggles can ever know.

But that wasn't the only reason the dementors couldn't make him crazy.

They couldn't take away his memories of her.

They weren't happy memories anymore.

They were bittersweet longings of a life he lived before.

12 long years seperated him from her, a seemingly unreachable distance.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, and look out on the lake, and wish that he could stop time.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in first year, and plan pranks on Snape, youthful innocence gleaming in both their eyes.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in second year, and have an ink-fight with her, when they were both supposed to be writing an essay for Charms.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in third year, and talk about becoming an animangus, suggesting made-up animals they could become.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in fourth year, and brush away a strand of hair from her face while she sat, intently reading a book.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in fifth year, and laugh with her about the time he fell into the lake, drunk, and had tried to romance the giant squid.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in sixth year, hunched over the Marauder's map, trying to find Snape.

He could never again sit under that tree with her, in their seventh and final year, with his arm finally around her waist, both blissfully ignorant of the war looming over them.

That tree was his link to the happiest times he had had in his life, unaware of the broken future it was leading to.

He had lost her in the war, and that tree wasn't going to bring her back.

The memories, that should be broken, after playing so long in his mind, could almost make her tangible, again. He was addicted to the feeling of longing he got when he thought of her, and that tree.

He could have layed here in his cell in Azkaban forever, with bittersweet memories as his only companion.

But he had a mission.

Harry was the only one worth living for anymore.

He turned into a dog, a practice that hadn't been needed for 12 long years.

He felt a sharp pang in his side. He hoped Remus was all right.

He took in a deep breath, and slid through the bars in his door. Right past the dementors, right past everything that was his darkest nightmares, and into silky waves of the ocean. It felt good against is grungy, matted fur.

The dog touched land, and shook out his fur. Into the light pink that coloured the sky,  
and as the first rays of soft light hit the ground, a lone dog howled with defiance in his voice.

Sirius Black was coming.

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A/N- I have NO idea what brought that on. I'm not EVER angsty. I guess it's not angsty,  
just memories, and the fact that he wanted to get back at Peter. :) I wanted to write again, and who better to write about than Sirius Black? )  
The girl is OC, and nameless, because Sirius never had a girlfriend described in the books, but he must of had at least ONE he really cared about. She was supposed to be good friends with the Marauders, as a side note :). So make the girl whoever you want her to be:) Thoughts? Comments? Complaints? Then Reveiw wheather you liked it or not:)


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